This Rotten Week: Predicting Carrie, The Fifth Estate and Escape Plan Reviews
We’re over our illnesses around the Rotten House and kicking things back into gear. It feels good to be pulled back from the brink of existence. Just in time for a hodgepodge of movies. This week we’ve got prison escapes, leakers and a night out at the prom.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
Back in the day I went to Junior Prom with my ex-girlfriend. Worth noting here that at the time she was my ex (she still is now of course). This added for an interesting layer of awkward tension and vile, acidic emotional gravitas that cast a shadow over the whole proceedings. It wasn’t a fantastic time to say the least as she stewed at having to spend the evening with someone she clearly hated. So what I’m saying is that if she had had some kind of supernatural, telekinetic power I have no doubt I’d have spent Sarah MacLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” as a sizzling, charred corpse on the dance floor of the Huntingdon Valley Country Club. This is called having a connection to a movie.
Now granted, I didn’t dump pig’s blood all over her anything (I was a perfect gentleman despite the circumstances) but man prom sure brings back memories huh? Bringing us to Carrie, Stephen King’s titular, outcast who just happens to be able to move things with her teenage mind. This was King’s first published novel and introduced a writer who, um, thinks outside the box. If nothing else, he was way ahead of his time in terms of the anti-bullying campaigns sweeping the nation now (Look kids, this is why you don’t pick on people!). This flick, starring Chloe Moretz, appears a chapter and verse remake of the the original Carrie adaptation (92%). But because critics loved the first one, doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll fall head over heals for Kimberly Peirce’s (Stop-Loss-65%) remake. Though the film basically appears just an updated version, there’s reason to suspect it won’t be a critical darling. Besides just rehashing a popular (though dated) film, some of the mechanics of the film look a little clunky. Moretz, though it may be purposeful, seems stiff in the role and the sepia tone of the film might be a little off-putting. That being said, I think it ends up somewhere around the middle of the pack which isn’t the worst outcome for a remake of a horror classic. And we all get to relive prom! The Rotten Watch for Carrie is
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