This Rotten Week: Predicting Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Movie 43 And Reviews

By Doug Norrie 2013-01-20 11:17:32discussion comments
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Parker
You don’t write a column like this for a couple of years without getting a chance to poke fun at Jason Statham. I’ve covered his bloody, revenge-taking, wiseass, high body count career plenty here, in this one, and way back in the early days of This Rotten Week. Statham is just too easy a mark, but the good news is I think he knows it. He’s been typecast in the best way possible and he’s scowling all the way to the bank.

I don’t want to shock you, but in this new flick Statham plays a snarky bloke out for revenge against some bad guy who’s wronged him. The left him for dead, which about the last thing you want to do with Jay. He then gets to do usual Statham things like kill any person who stands in his way, rock the shaved head/ five o’clock shadow look (I employ something similar to slightly less fanfare), crack one liners, stare at J-Lo. You know, basically the same thing he does all the time. Is it even worth going back through his resume? We all know what’s going on here.

Director Taylor Hackford (a guy who received some Oscar nominations with Ray -81% and used that collateral to follow up with something called Love Ranch-12%) now gets to handle Statham which is probably about the easiest gig in Hollywood. Just give him a gun and a vendetta and stay the f@#$ out of the way. The Rotten Watch for Parker is 38%


Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?

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