This Rotten Week: Predicting Pompeii and 3 Days to Kill Reviews
In the Northeast we’ve been getting crushed by weather, the snow piling up. What better time than to sit down and watch a movie?
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
It would seem like the threat of a volcano erupting all over everything you know and love would be enough drama for one little movie. But oh no, this movie posits that it can get even worse than that. You might actually be denied love because of your slave upbringing AND get scorched by molten lava. Now that’s some kind of bad luck.
The story of Mount Vesuvius’ destruction of Pompeii (kind of what you get for building your town beneath a volcano) is interesting in a historical sense. It helped preserve the town in volcanic ash so historical folks could learn a bunch about the ancient culture. Also, it makes for a decent tourist attraction. But a full movie about it? Even a brief reading of the Wikipedia entry (the only real source for information these days) suggests that many of the people of Pompeii died instantly from heat exposure after the volcano’s eruption. This meant they burned to death, like nuclear bomb style. This would make a pretty boring and quick movie. So instead this film produces a prolonged eruption sequence to add a little Dante’s Peak (or probably Titanic) to the proceedings. Play out the drama while the world burns.
Whatever you want to think about the trailer, there isn’t much denying that it looks like someone took all the worst part of every Roman-style movie ever and then put a volcano in the background. We can get an idea of the film as a whole by glancing at the director’s previous work. Paul WS Anderson has a bunch of Resident Evil movies averaging around 28%, The Three Musketeers (24%) and Death Race (43%) as parts of his resume. This isn’t exactly encouraging when determining how Pompeii will score with critics. Here’s where you can now insert a bunch of puns involving "burn" to describe how it will finish on the Tomatometer.. The Rotten Watch for Pompeii is
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