Sam Jackson has just lined up his next starring vehicle, and it sounds awful. He’s following in the footsteps of such blighted luminaries as Steve Martin, Vin Diesel, and The Rock, by doing one of those awful family movies about dealing with kids or having kids, or whatever excuse they use to put a big Hollywood actor in the same movie with cute kids.

In this case Variety says the movie is Man that Rocks the Cradle and Sam will play a husband and overworked father of five who decides he needs a live-in nanny. He hires Marion Delacroix, a “kid whisperer” from the South. Haha! A kid whisperer! Get it? It’s like the Horse Whisperer or the Dog Whisperer but for kids. Wait… didn’t South Park already do that? Yes, I’m pretty sure they did.

Sam Jackson will also produce the film, thus making his failure complete. Seriously Sam, how can you follow up brilliant work in a challenging and interesting movie like Black Snake Moan with this? What are you thinking man? What have you done with the real Sam Jackson?