I know what you’re thinking: Gee, I’m really excited to see Saw IV, but I’m not sure one below-average horror sequel will be enough to satiate my voracious bad dialogue appetite. Well, you are in luck, sir. Lionsgate has your back. The distributer is pairing with a group of select theaters to provide maximum Saw action.

On October 25th, the chosen cinemas will show the first three films in order, climaxing with the premiere of Saw IV at midnight. Yay? Are there really people out there willing to pay for eight hours of shitty horror? I’m ashamed to say I donated my money to all three debacles during their initial theatrical runs, and each time, I vowed not to see the following year’s edition. Clearly those plans failed. In my defense, each time I took an ignorant co-ed, but just like the films, none ever produced a happy ending.

The sad part is, I know some of you idiots are going to attend this. You’ll smile, scream into your date’s ear, and make some comments about the Saw franchise being up to its old tricks. You make me sick.

To find a theater near you participating in the marathon, check local listings or cruise Saw IV's official site.