Some people remember Joel Schumacher as the brilliant director of Phone Booth. Others recall him as the Philistine who gayed-up Batman, nearly destroying the franchise. I see him only as the brilliant mind behind St. Elmo’s Fire and The Lost Boys. Any thing he did outside of the years 1985 to 1987 is completely moot. So, I treat today’s news with a hint of disinterest and space.

Variety is reporting that the elderly helmer has signed on to direct Inland Saints. The di Bonaventura Pictures production will follow two teens falling in love. Isn’t that special? The modern day Romeo of the duo, will be the rugged leader of an urban street gang, his devoted sweetheart, none other than a police officer’s daughter. This is why I’m not having kids.

Am I the only one that thinks this reeks of 1950’s stereotypes? Honestly, the big, bad detective’s daughter falls passionately in love with the waste-of-life criminal her father is trying to catch? Let me guess, eventually, the two-bit hood will realize the error of his ways and die in a climactic hail of gunfire as father and daughter join hands and cry. Thanks, but no thanks. If I hated West Side Story, I can’t even fathom my unabashed disdain to its seemingly pathetic rip-off.