Star Wars The Musical Is Terribly, Terribly Real

Darth Vader's Song, (sung to the tune of "Maria" from "The Sound of Music"):

How do you solve a problem like the Jedi?

How do you catch these knights and pin 'em down?

How to turn your son to the Darkside?

A Wookiee, Chewbacca! An Obi-Kenobi! That Yoda clown!

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell them.

Many a thing they ought to understand.

The Death Star will enter the fray;

With Organa, I’ll have my way;

And, rebels will be swept away, by my command.

Oh, how do you deal with pirates like Han Solo?

Against their Force, a lightsaber is in my hand!