If you're a Liam Neeson fan who is tremendously excited for the upcoming release of Taken 3, you may want to turn away now - as things are about to get brutal.



There’s plenty to make fun of when it comes to the Taken franchise. For starters, both of the films are over-the-top, preposterously plotted, and have a 50-year-old playing an action star. With that in mind, you’d have thought that those adorable rapscallions over at Screen Junkies would have torn Taken and Taken 2 apart by now courtesy of their Honest Trailers series. They hadn’t - but they’ve now righted that wrong with a double whammy just ahead of Taken 3’s release at the end of this week.

The video says quite a lot about Taken 2, in that after tearing Luc Besson’s Taken to shreds they really didn’t have to add too much about its follow-up. That’s because, basically, it’s the same bloody film. But instead of his daughter being kidnapped, Taken 2 sees Bryan Mills ex-wife taken instead. Then, just like the original, plenty of gross European stereotypes, huge sways of violence, dozens of death and car-chases follow - all while Liam Neeson struggles with his American accent and basically just speaks Irish instead.

But what did Honest Trailers’ critique of Taken and Taken 2 actually reveal to the world? Well, it turns out, that despite the fact that the films revolve around the kidnapping of Bryan Mills’ daughter and ex-wife, the actual word kidnapping is seldom used. Instead they keep on explaining that they been "taken". Is this to remind viewers of the title of the film? Do studios really think that modern day moviegoers are that bone-idle? Sadly, I think the answer to both is yes.

Meanwhile, Honest Trailers also showcases the other set of particular skills that Bryan Mills has at his disposal. Not only is rather adept at killing a hoard of heavily bearded Europeans with his bare hands, but if you’re looking for someone to organize your scrap-book he’s your man too.

Taken Scrapbooking

It doesn’t stop there, because if you want someone to take a photo of you using archaic Kodak technology, then Bryan Mills also has that skill down to an art.

Taken Kodak

Will we get to see more of Bryan’s domestic skills in Taken 3? Let’s hope so. But it will more than likely simply be packed to the brim with formulaic action, rudimentary set-pieces and stereotypical characterization instead. Taken 3 will be released at the end of this week. Forrest Whitaker’s presence is the only reason I’m tempted to see it.

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