Paramount is desperate for success, particularly among younger viewers (You suck old man!). So they’ve hired some of the internet’s most tasteless bottom feeders, the guys from CollegeHumor.com.

Variety has the story of Paramount’s sad attempt to recreate the glory days of films like Animal House and Porky’s on their backlot by employing guys who run a site featuring mainly beer cans. Their development deal with CollegeHumor.com is a little fuzzy in nature, but the idea is that they’ll work with producer Daniel Craig and the CollegeHumor.com guys to find feature projects that reflect the college experience. Translation: Movies with naked coeds and lots of drinking. Maybe even a little post smoking.

This is the first time I can remember ever hearing of a non-movie website being hired to develop movies, just because their URL contains the word “college”. Hopefully, this works out well and someone comes along to buy us up and use us to make movies about um… blending. God, I can’t wait to sell out and get rich. I never should have turned down Fandango. Where’s my bucket of money?