Clearly the best thing Taylor Lautner ever did for himself was spend six months in the gym building up a ridiculous set of abs. Ever since he removed his shirt needlessly in that scene in New Moon, the roles of muscle-bound heroes have come pouring in-- the lead in Max Steel, the lead in that movie about the guy who flies airplanes, and now, everyone's favorite malleable childhood toy, Stretch Armstrong.

Yes, Lautner has been cast as the lead in the inexplicable Stretch Armstrong movie, which THR writes will find the character as "an uptight spy who stumbles across a stretching formula, which he takes and must now adjust to in everyday life and when fighting crime."

We all probably remember the look of the Stretch Armstrong toy-- long blond hair, pasty Aryan skin-- so it's at least vaguely interesting that they've cast Lautner, a non-white actor, to play the role. With Jason Momoa also stepping up to play a non-white Conan the Barbarian, we may very well be entering a new era for action heroes of color. That's about the only positive spin I can come up with on the news of a Stretch Armstrong movie, but it's enough for now at least.

Extra note: Taylor Lautner's 18th birthday is coming up on February 11, so overage ladies, who have been waiting to throw your underwear at him, the time has almost come!