The question is no longer “Who Shot J.R.?”—it’s “Why Won’t Someone Let This Movie Die Already?”

If you saw a bug squirming on the floor because half its body had been crushed, the honorable thing would be to step on it. Put it out of its misery. The Dallas movie may be lying on the ground, flailing about without a chance in the world, but nobody is willing to give it the boot.

According to NY Post, the big-screen adaptation of the classic soap opera “Dallas,” which aired for 13 seasons, has suffered one debilitating blow after the next. When it was first conceived as an “amazing drama” by screenwriter Robert Harling, the film had acclaimed director Robert Luketic on board, and an A-list cast including John Travolta, Shirley MacLaine, Luke Wilson, and Jennifer Lopez.

Now, the only big name attached is Travolta, the director has been replaced (by Gurinder Chadha), and the script has been tossed.

So, why did this happen? After 20th Century Fox conducted focus groups on the film with Midwestern audiences, they got a lot of feedback to play up the funny. Now, instead of a dramatic soap, the Dallas film is shaping up to be…a slapstick comedy. That’s right, they’ve decided to make it more like Bewitched.

I have a better idea—how about saving what’s left of Travolta’s career and scrapping the whole thing entirely? Looks like my pleas continue to fall on deaf ears.