Let me get this out of the way. I am a "Dark Tower" WHORE. I would stab my own mother in the face to get just a little more of that sweet sweet candy. I love it so much that today I'm actually going to go to set foot in a comic book store and buy the first comic book I've purchased in ten years.

Some bitched about the last three installments in Steven King's insanely popular "Dark Tower" series. This has done nothing to stop my devotion. Sure, I might have liked to see how things would have turned out without King's near fatal accident lighting a fire under his ass (Assuming he lived to be 190). But despite some bat shit looney things in the final book (Roland Vs. The Stand Up Comedy Demon, Susannah's ending, the death of Randall Fucking Flagg) I stand by my declaration that 90% of it was damn near perfect.

So you might understand that I am very excited to discover that Frank Darabont wishes to adapt these books for the silver screen. The idea is a wonderful one. But it is more or less impossible. Darabont himself admits as much in an interview with Liljas Library picked up by Film Rot.

Darabont says: "Steve and I have kicked the idea around of doing The Dark Tower some day. Man, I love those books -- they're glorious, Steve's magnum opus. But to be honest, it's merely been idle talk. I've told him the thought of adapting that saga makes me break out in a cold sweat, curl into a ball, and weep. It's just so metaphysical and trippy, so much of it almost impossible stuff to visualize on screen. Not to mention it's just staggeringly huge and massive! I don't think I'd even know where to begin!"

Now that's a vote of confidence if I ever heard one. Thought this is all just idle chatter and more or less unfilmable, fans can now start dreaming all over again.