I have watched the production of the Golden Compass with dread and fear. Watching as my beloved fantasy saga has apparently had everything unique and beautiful stripped from it in an attempt to make the unique, amazing square peg fit into the dull round hole of a “family entertainment.”

Still even I am not so embittered that I am not psyched about this latest bit of casting news. When I read the books I idly fantasized just how the hell they would ever turn it into a movie.

After all how does one make a children’s movie in which the Church’s one purpose is the destruction of souls, children brutally murder and are murdered, graphic torture scenes drag on for pages, heaven is a concentration camp, and a climax that involves the murder of God, and preteen sex saving the world.

The answer has unfortunately been, you don’t even try. Still even this cannot dull my enthusiasm at Sam Freaking Elliot being cast as Lee Scorseby, the Texan Cowboy Aeronaut soldier of fortune. Trust me that description makes sense in the context. The source is no less than Phillip Pullman himself, and he’s equally pleased. This is literally the best possible scenario for this character who has literally been plucked from my dream cast.

Even if I’m bleeding from my eyes for the majority of the runtime I now have confidence that at least the scenes with Scorseby (and there are a few that are just incredibly bad ass) will be nothing less then amazing.