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The Weekend BlendBy Joshua Tyler: 2005-05-12 00:00:00
 5/13 – 5/14 Last week I left you without guidance while I obsessed over my screening of Star Wars. This week, The Weekend Blend is back to guide you through your moviegoing weekend. And please, start going. I’m sick of hearing about how much the box office is down. Last week, Crash hit theaters and its absolutely fantastic. There’s no reason not to buy a ticket. But, that was last week, this is now. Here’s a look at the movies opening this Friday. Misc. Limited Releases (Opening on fewer than 500 screens.) 
There’s a dumb kids dancing documentary rolling out this weekend called Mad Hot Ballroom (sorry, I’m not high class enough to appreciate it), but the only limited really worthy of note is Layer Cake. Opening in a meager 16 theaters, this is the directorial debut of Matthew Vaughn and the movie that got him the job helming (and probably ruining) X3. I haven’t seen much to indicate that Layer Cake is very good, it looks like a lame Snatch clone. No surprise since Vaughn cut his teeth getting coffee for Guy Ritchie. But if you’re any sort of X-Men fan (and if you aren’t loosen up), you’ve got to see this to clue yourself in on what sort of disaster we’re in store for. It’s only playing in LA/NY, but it’ll probably expand a little in the next couple of weeks. If it doesn’t, they’ve wasted a lot of money on invasive web advertising.
Kicking & Screaming (Opens on 3300+ screens.) 
I love Will Ferrell, but the guy is well on his way to losing his touch for picking projects. K&S is a stupid mess, and completely unworthy of his talents. The parts that are good seem like they might have been a Ferrell adlib, and probably are. His next film is Bewitched, which I now greatly fear. It looks like it’s going all the wrong direction and after Kicking & Screaming I have little faith that Ferrell will be able to save it. He’d be better off cutting back a bit and spending more time doing more of his own projects. At this point does the man really need a paycheck? Stop down, and choose wisely. Choose funny.
Mindhunters (Opens on 1000 screens.) 
It’s the movie they didn’t want you to see, and that you probably won’t like anyway. Mindhunters was filmed so long ago it seems like it ought to be presented in Technicolor. It’s been hidden in studio vaults for years, while they promise release date after release date, only to kick it off the date at the last minute. Well, this week it finally gets released… probably in a meager 1000 theaters where it’ll flop and disappear. After all, by all accounts it is terrible. It’s even become dated, a relic from the brief fifteen minutes several years ago when it seemed like Ladies Love Cool J might be on the verge of breaking out into a movie star. Then we saw all the horrible movies he’d made and realized that couldn’t be allowed to happen. Well, this is the last relic from the LL Cool J era to leak into theaters. Let it drain into the sewer.
Monster-in-Law (Opens on 3100 screens.) 
Whatever you may think of Jane Fonda’s politics, there’s no denying that in her time she was a pretty solid actress. More than a pretty face or an exercise video maven, the woman had legitimate talent. So, it’s nice to see her back up on the screen, it’s just a shame she had to pick a J-Lo movie as her means of re-entry. And that’s really the biggest problem with Monster-in-Law, Jennifer Lopez is at her absolute worst. If you do end up for some ridiculous reason seeing it, the great chemistry between Wanda Sykes and Jane Fonda will get you through it, but Lopez needs to do something to return to her roots… and I’m not talking about Jenny from the Block. Is there any way to make a Selena II? Maybe we can resurrect The Flygirls. Jennifer Lopez had talent once, but I’ll be damned if I can spot it now.
Unleashed (Opens on 1750 screens.)  
Jet Li is raised as a kung fu dog in the new movie Unleashed. If that brief statement doesn’t hook you, then you are no longer allowed to be my friend. The idea is crazy, silly, and maybe a little ridiculous but it’s also irrisistable. It’s also likely the best thing in theaters this year. This is more than just another Jet Li action movie, from what I hear it also has a surprising amount of heart. But also ass kicking, so don’t worry about getting all mushy. It’s about time Jet did something a little different, and you can’t get much more different than the story of a guy who walks around on a leash owned by one of the Super Mario Brothers. You’ve gotta love it. It’s not opening as wide as some of the other flicks this weekend, but maybe it’s good enough that it doesn’t need to. Jet Li is a proven commodity willing to take a few risks. Give the guy a chance. Check out Unleashed.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: Crash, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
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