This Just In: Rabid Twilight Fans Have A Problem

By Eric Eisenberg 2010-06-29 21:55:35discussion comments
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I don't know if you've noticed this at all, but some Twihards out there are totally fucking nuts. It takes a certain mentality to be abusive enough to drive an actress off of Twitter, use their dead pets to receive sympathy from an actor, and construct cloth versions of a human-vampire fetus. Any normal person should notice that this behavior isn't normal, and, after two years, someone finally has.

Nancy Baym, an associate professor at the University of Kansas, is now saying that some people's levels of fandom have reached the point of addiction. "A lot of fans engage in obsessive behavior, but to the extent that it's damaging to their offline relationships, that's pretty uncommon," she says. But take for example Kelli Chavez of Sylmar, California. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times she mentions that she "read each of the books at least eight or nine times and I've watched each of the movies over 300 times apiece," and that her inability to control herself has led to resentment from her 6-year-old son. News flash: when kindergartners are picking up signals of a problem before a 39-year-old woman does, there's a big fucking problem.

Since the release of the first film, the internet has watched as women young and old have become obsessive over the likes of Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and the writing of Stephanie Meyer. But here is a question that nobody seems to be asking: what the hell is so special about this material? There are billions of books better than those in the Twilight series. Writers like Ernest Hemmingway, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Leo Tolstoy and William Shakespeare make Meyer's books look like they were written in crayon (then again, so does the work of Dr. Seuss). Comparing the film series to examples such as Casablanca, Citizen Kane, The Godfather and Gone With The Wind would cause any professor of film to fall into hysterics. It can't just be that the actors are attractive and it can't be that their characters represent perfection, as both have been seen before and in multiple mediums. There are millions of Star Wars fans out there, but have you ever heard of any of them taking part in cyber-bullying because someone disagrees with their opinion? Hell, check the comments section of this article in half-an-hour and I bet at least one Twilight fan will be in the comments section calling me an idiot or calling for my head like I'm John The Baptist. There is something so completely off and wrong here, but can anyone explain why?
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