I took last week off from making some mind-boggling awful Rotten Tomatoes predictions. I needed the break to recoup and reevaluate. Coincidentally, I made mental predictions for all the movies that came out last week and came within 1% on all of them. How's that for a kick in the pants?
This is an odd week as some of the reviews for these movies are already circulating throughout the interweb so I have a bit of a head start. You can look at that one of two ways: either I'm basically cheating, or I have to hit the nail on the idiomatic head. With that in mind, let's take a look.
Hot Tub Time Machine
I am an honest man. I have avoided reading Josh's review of this buddy, time-traveling flick but I did see his star rating system. Are there any more difficult movies to get a handle on from a trailer than comedies like these? I can never tell if they are just showing me all the funny parts in three minutes, or if there are more laughs in there. Then I wonder if the trailer doesn't look all that funny, how can the movie have anything leftover? The first time I saw the trailer I laughed exactly one time: When Craig Robinson stares at the camera and says, “It must be some kind of hot tub time machine.” That was it. That being said, I love movies that come right out say what they are. The writers just said, “F$#% it. This movie is about four guys who get into a hot tub and end up back in time. There's really only one thing we can call it right?”
Initially, I would have trended this score somewhere in the 30's. But, it appears some people have latched on to this tale of four guys who end up in the 80's via a big bathtub. I'm heading up on this score, but not too high because I just don't see every critic going gaga for this thing. Rotten Watch 61%
How To Train Your Dragon
There's one major reason I would never have a dragon as a pet. I consider myself and everything in my vicinity fairly flammable. I get nervous when someone puts a pizza box on the stove because I think the whole house is going to go up in a ball of flame. If a dragon was just sitting around my place I would just lose it. The one positive would be when if anyone ever said to me, “Uggh, you have dragon's breath,” I would just respond, “You think that's dragon's breath? Flamey (my dragon's name), let's show her what a real dragon's breath is like.”
How to Train Your Dragon looks like a pretty fantastic production. DreamWorks just gets movies right. Their films are visually fantastic and usually have broad age appeal. When they are good (Shrek, Kung Fu Panda) they are real good, and even when they aren't so great (Over the Hedge, Madagascar), they're still watchable. The critics have already lined up their praise for this movie so it's easy to see the score ending up pretty high. I like the Rotten Watch for How to Train Your Dragon at 84%.
Just watching this trailer had me a little on edge. I just never really knew what I was seeing. A bunch of people were kind of staring at each other menacingly (or sexily, which is basically the same thing). The highlight came when my wife, with her back turned, picked out Amanda Seyfried's voice from across the room. She said, “Hey, I recognize that voice. Is she the daughter from Big Love?” My wife is a vocal savant.
Chloe is a tale of seduction. And man there seems to be a ton of it. That looks like the only thing even going on during the flick. Seduction in a restaurant, seduction in a greenhouse of some sort, seduction in the bedroom of course. Just s#$%-loads of seducing. Anyway, Chloe is the kind of movie that some people will love and others will fall asleep during. Right now the TomatoMeter backs that up with a solid half and half so I will set the Rotten Watch one tick lower just because I can. Rotten Watch for Chloe is 49%.
Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?
Next week we get monstrous. I'll take a look at Clash of the Titans
and Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?
. It's going to be a Rotten Week!