Remember in 500 Days of Summer
after Joseph Gordon Levitt has finally nailed Zooey Deschanel's Summer and he leaves his apartment in a state of excited bliss with "You Make My Dreams Come True" playing in the background? That's pretty much how the Rotten Watch is feeling at this moment, right down to the choreographed dancing and little animated blue birds flying around and tweeting their beautiful song. Why the elation you ask? Because last week was a boo-yah performance for predicting critical consensus on flicks. And I fully expect the hits to keep right on coming as we see the guy responsible for the "Like" button get his start, Renee Zellweger in a horror movie that isn't about her looks and Hit Girl going all vampire on a small town.
Here's what's happening this Rotten Week:
The Social Network |
You know who I really feel for every time a trailer for The Social Network comes on and Justin Timberlake's Sean Parker talks about making a billion dollars or Eisenberg as Zuckerberg pops another champagne bottle? This guy. Tom just wanted give us a little thumb's up and be everyone's very first internet friend. Of courseTom isn't starving but alas, MySpace has become a cruel joke (dipping close to Friendster status) while Facebook is a cultural reference point of Biblical proportions.
It doesn't take some sort of secret genius to know David Fincher's newest resume addition is the movie winner of the year. Every commercial out there for The Social Network tells us as much. It's my early Academy Award favorite for Best Display of Zeitgeist in a Drama. That's a good thing. I can't wait to see how the Status Bar was invented.
As of print, The Social Network was sitting at a neat and tidy 100% on the Tomatometer. It most certainly won't stay there as a few critics can always be counted on to punch in negative reviews because they're simply out of touch with things like Facebook, or the internet, or computers or really anything that's come along in the last twenty years. But it seems certain that David Fincher will have his greatest critical success yet with this one beating out films like Zodiac (89%), Fight Club (81%) and Seven (84%). The Rotten Watch for The Social Network is 93%.
There are a few signs that guarantee a movie will fail with critics. Ashton Kutcher is in it. Garry Marshall is the director. It was supposed to come out more than two years ago and the studio just couldn't get the damn thing in theaters. Or even worse, it was actually filmed four years ago and we're just getting it into theaters now. And while Case 39 doesn't have Ashton or Marshall working against it, it was originally filmed in 2006 and scheduled for release in August of 2008. Uh-oh.
After four years of waiting, Renee Zellweger finally hits the screens as a social worker adopting a little girl who has evil following her around like a not-so-imaginary friend. I was fully prepared to rip Zellweger's career as opposed to her onscreen boyfriend Bradley Cooper's, since their celebrity stocks are headed in somewhat different directions. Except Renee has had a fair amount of critical success while Cooper has next to none. Outside of The Hangover, Cooper has appeared mostly in real stinkers (Valentine's Day - 17%, All About Steve - 6%).
Meanwhile Zellweger's been a mixed bag with New in Town (18%), My One and Only (69%), and Appaloosa (76%). Renee's not a total disaster, but I still think she's completely out of the Hollywood picture in the next 2-3 years (if she isn't already). Early reviews are already in for her latest and it isn't looking good folks. The Rotten Watch for Case 39 is 23%.
Let Me In|
I'm not sure what's creepier: Chloe Moretz playing a child vampire who terrorizes a town or the haircut of Kodi Smit-McPhee as her friend who knows a little too much about the kiddie-bloodsucker. He looks like a mix between early Beatles McCartney and Frankenstein.
Let Me In is a remake of the 2004 Swedish film Let the Right One in and has Matt Reeves at the helm of what looks to be the rare horror movie that earns critical success. Reeves helmed Cloverfield (76%) so he has a fright background, and the movie looks pretty f#$%ing scary, with a little girl killing everyone in a small town while her even creepier looking friend sits on the sidelines wondering what to do about it.
Side note: Is Chloe Moretz the anti-Dakota Fanning? Instead of taking easy roles as the cutish girl who does good or needs saving, Moretz has now played a killing machine in Kick Ass and another killing machine for Let Me In. Rotten Watch child actor top tip: kill your way to the top.
Let Me In has all the makings of a success and the early reviews point in a very positive direction. The Rotten Watch for Let Me In is 87%.
Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?
Recapping last week
. It was a good one for the Rotten Watch. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
(Predicted 63% Actual 55%) was a close call with Gordon Gekko and Ollie Stone keeping critics pretty close to the middle in their tale of financial demise.
Meanwhile You Again
(Predicted 38%, Actual 12%) was even worse than expected. When a movie's bad, it's never easy to guess just how bad it will be. The real stinkers are sometimes hidden behind glossy trailers and big name stars. There's no excuse to be made here though after I pegged it as, "an inane concept” with “inept director Andy Fickman behind the camera…" I should have gone lower.
And finally, Legends of the Guardians: Longest Movie Title Ever
(Predicted 50% Actual 50%) was an on-the-nose boo-yah. I repeat, Boo-Yah!!! Nothing more to do really except take a bow and let you know that next week Katherine Heigl returns for more rom-com drivel, Disney does horses, and Wes Craven causes more underpants soiling. It's going to be a Rotten Week!