In an announcement sure to send shudders through parents everywhere, Disney has informed us (by "us," I mean society in general) that they have a new direct-to-DVD cash cow in the offing. Buena Vista Home Entertainment is planning to release, Tinker Bell, a CG-animated feature in 2008 starring everyone's favorite psychotically jealous fairy sidekick. The DisneyToon Studio production will feature Brittany Murphy, the star of such family-friendly movies as Sin City and 8 Mile.

Rather than sending Tinker Bell out on her own, the movie will introduce consumers everywhere to the Disney Fairies, Tinker Bell's fairy friends who will be voiced in the DVD by Kristen Chenoweth, among others. Without knowing anything else about these Disney Fairies, I'm sure there will cover the wide spectrum of personality stereotypes and represent at least four ethnic groups.

In a surprising level of candor, the Buena Vista press release makes clear that this project is all about da Benjamins. Listen to these heartwarming quotes: "this new film...will offer incremental opportunities across the company to grow the Disney Fairies franchise significantly." Or how about "Disney Fairies represents an expanded definition of synergy at The Walt Disney Company."

It's not all hard-hearted business, though, Buena Vista Home Entertainment President Bob Chapek is practically wiping the tears from his eyes when he states that the DVD is "an incredible franchise opportunity in the home entertainment category." So, pop some corn and settle back for the latest franchise opportunity from the fine filmmakers at Disney.