Today's bag of Trailer Trash contains four funky fresh trailers. The first is a great trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in an incredibly crappy format. Seriously MTV, that’s almost unforgivable. The second is a mediocre trailer for a mediocre looking ping-pong comedy in glorious, glossy Quicktime. The third is for yet a another Hannibal movie. Seriously, cut it out already. The fourth is for a Bruce Willis movie in which he will not say Yippee Kay Yay Muther Fucker.



Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles return to theaters, only this time in animated form. After the defeat of their old arch nemesis, The Shredder, the Turtles have grown apart as a family. Struggling to keep them together, their rat sensei, Master Splinter, becomes worried when strange things begin to brew in New York City. Tech-industrialist Max Winters is amassing an army of ancient monsters to apparently take over the world. This is the first real trailer for the film, the previous one was more of a teaser, with the turtles performing roof acrobatics set to “Flight of the Bumblebee”. One problem though. To watch it you’ll have to fight through MTV’s Overdrive, and even then they’re only showing it in a teeny, tiny, video window. Hopefully we’ll get a bigger version of it soon, but till then:

STREAMING SEWAGE

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Balls of Fury
Balls of Fury enters the unsanctioned, underground, and utterly unhinged world of clandestine Ping-Pong tournaments. Down-and-out former professional Ping-Pong phenom Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler) is sucked into this maelstrom when FBI Agent Rodriguez (George Lopez) recruits him for a secret mission. Randy is determined to bounce back and win, and to smoke out his father’s killer – arch-fiend Feng (Chris Walken). The first trailer is out, and in beautiful Quicktime. Are little white balls funny? You be the judge:

QUICKTIME CARAVAN

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Hannibal Rising
A prequel to Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Rising tells the story of a young Hannibal Lechter in three different stages of his life, including his childhood in Lithuania and his ten years in England before capture. This is an international trailer for it, hopefully the American one, whenever we get it, will be less boring. Yawn.

QUICKTIME CARAVAN

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Perfect Stranger
Balki Bartokamos is nowhere to be found. Bruce Willis, Halley Berry, and Giovani Ribisi star in a thriller about a woman caught up in the world of obsessive love online when she goes undercover to crack the case of her friend's murder. It looks like a pretty stock thriller, especially when there’s a Live Free or Die Hard trailer out there, Willis may have a hard time getting people interested in this.

QUICKTIME CARAVAN