Finally, the portable movies craze looks like it’s dying. Our friends over at The Movie Blog report on a story they found somewhere (I don’t know where, they’re quoting someone but don’t cite a source) about the predictably lackluster sales of UMD movies for Sony’s handheld gaming machine, the PSP. To sum it up, no one is buying UMD movies, and so Sony is cutting back on UMD production.

Watching movies on tiny handheld devices really got momentum going when the Sony PSP came out and stole people’s cash by selling them movies in a special format for watching on their handheld gaming machine. It’s been over-advertised everywhere, and since its inception everyone’s been predicting it as the next “it” in entertainment technology. Watching movies on teeny, tiny screens while you walk through the park is being shoved down our throats as the new, cool, hip thing. But what kind of movie fan wants to watch a feature film on a screen so small that they can only make out half the details of what’s going on?

The home theatre craze and the popularity of DVDs was born out of the general moviegoer’s desire for a high quality movie viewing experience. I can’t remember ever wishing for the ability to watch Lord of the Rings in a port-o-potty. If you’re regularly watching movies on your Sony PSP, you just don’t like movies. Apparently most people agree with me, since UMDs look to be well on their way to failing. It’s a novelty and nothing more.

Next up… the failure of the video IPod. And please, stop making movies available to me on my phone. No thanks. Let’s use all this technological know-how for something useful, like jetpacks or robotic women. What ever happened to the fully immersive virtual reality predicted by the softcore porn industry nearly twenty years ago? Put down your Blackberry and get to work on a hyper-realistic version of Shannon Tweed. Mobility is great, but only if you don’t care about quality.