Carpenter fans, prepare to kill yourselves. One of the famed horror director's most noteworthy films is being remade, and he's not even involved.

Variety says Universal pictures is powering up a remake of The Thing. If there's good news to be had here, it's that they've hired 'Battlestar Galactica' exec producer Ronald D. Moore to write the script. If you've seen the new BSG, then you know there's cause for at least some hope.

Spouting the usual excuses for complete unoriginality, the new version's producers claim they aren't remaking Carpenter's movie, just stealing the plot for a "companion piece". Has Hollywood been hiring Republican speech writers? It sounds like it.

In Carpenter's original 1982 movie, Antarctic scientists are terrorized by a shape-shifting alien. The whole thing has a long history of being based on other movies. Carpenter's version was a continuation of a 1951 movie, and picks up where that movie left off. Both movies were based on a 1938 short story. So at least there's some precedent for draining all the life right out of the concept.

Carpenter's movies have been virtually under siege lately. In the past two years we've seen remakes of Assault on Precinct 13 and The Fog, and right now Rob Zombie is working on redoing Halloween. Zombie of course, says it's not a remake but a pseudo-remake. I guess he's hired the same Republican speech writers.

At the current rate of Carpenter remaking, it won't be long till someone tackles Dark Star. I look forward to seeing what Hollywood comes up with to update the film's inflatable beach ball of death. Maybe they can make it a Pokeball. Dark Star: Pokebattle? Has a nice ring to it.