“Dante’s Inferno” is the hottest video game on the market right now. Millions of kids and jobless men are playing it right now and it’s becoming a worldwide sensation. It totally makes sense that four studios bid to turn it into a movie. Ohhhhh, wait, I’m thinking of a different game. “Dante’s Inferno” won’t be out as a video game until next year. That means the bidding war makes no sense at all.

Variety reports that Universal has outbid four other studios to turn the Electronic Arts game into a movie. The hitch is that the game doesn’t exist. In fact, until it was offered for sale to the movie studios, no one knew the game existed. But now you know that it does exist. Or at least the idea of it exists. I also have an idea for a game, so any studios that want to show up and give me six points against the back end, feel free.

Not surprisingly, the game (and by extension the movie) take place in Hell. It deals with a … well, we don’t know. A man in Hell, a woman in Hell, the New England Jazz and Flute Combo featuring Percy McGraw in Hell? Nobody knows. I can’t wait to miss this one.