New from the department of really dumb ideas: Deadline is reporting that a deal has been struck to have Kevin James star in a comedy about mixed martial arts. Set to be written by Allan Loeb (21, The Switch), James will play a physics teacher who is forced to moonlight as a MMA fighter when his school's budget faces cutbacks. Eventually he becomes good enough to fight in the UFC. I sure wish it was April Fools Day today.

Doing a quick bit of research, I've noticed a pattern: Kevin James movies suck. This might have something to do with the fact that the only comedy he does is centered around his weight problem. If there isn't a joke about James' stomach cushioning his opponents blows I will buy a copy of Paul Blart: Mall Cop on Blu-ray. In this case, though, I really can't blame the studios. The actors last three films all earned more than $100 million at the box office. Perhaps I will just have to learn why a mustachioed fat man riding a Segway is considered top comedy. Anyone know of any clown colleges that let you audit classes?