Roland plans our doom

Disaster master Roland Emmerich has hired Steven Strait and Camilla Belle to topline his next film, 10,000 B.C.. Right now you’re probably asking, who?

You might remember Steven Strait as the dark young hunk Warren Peace in Sky High. Camilla Belle was the lead in the terrible horror remake When a Stranger Calls. Roland’s casting pretty young.

Variety says the movie is the story of a bunch of cavemen. Strait plays a young cave boy at the bottom of his primitive tribe’s hierarchy who pines for the attention of a tribal princess (Belle) above his station. When his tribe’s hunters and the princess are enslaved (by aliens?), cave boy comes to the rescue to save his underdeveloped upright walkers from extinction. No, that plot synopsis isn’t a joke.

With that kind of cast you have to wonder who exactly Roland’s making this movie for. It doesn’t sound like typical teen genre, but Belle and Strait aren’t suited for much else. Emmerich says his goal is to illustrate the three stages of primitive man, a fairly boring concept for a movie unless he’s planning on marketing it to high school science classes. That is, assuming anyone is still allowed to teach science in high school. These days you never know.