Huge week happening here this time around. No time to waste with droll/genius/thought-provoking banter here in the opening. Way too much heading into theaters. We’ve got Hobbits-ies, Mary Poppins, Americans hustling and Madea celebrating Christmas.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
At what point do you think Peter Jackson took a look around at the real world, with its overpopulated, unheroic and deteriorating nonsense and decided that he wouldn’t mind just not ever returning? So he starts working on the Lord of the Rings, realizes Middle Earth is kind of the place to be, what with its plush rolling hills and smoking hot elves. Sure you need to put up with the occasional, world-dominating all-encompassing evil or dragon, but there’s always a reluctant, vertically challenged hero to take care of those things. Why ever return to the real world (or Los Angeles, or wherever he keeps his digs)? So he sets up shop making a life’s work of Middle Earth, effectively inhabiting J.R.R. Tolkien’s world, and bringing those stories to life. Or as close to life as cinematically possible. When this trilogy is over, what will Jackson do with himself?
Why else make The Hobbit, a three hundred page book, into three separate movies unless you never wanted to stop making movies about Middle Earth. Never fear, after this I’m sure Jackson has plans to make an eighteen-installment version of The Silmarillion that should take him up to the day he dies.
In his latest, Bilbo, Gandalf and a band of merry dwarves pick up where they left of in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (65%) as they encounter a dragon, battle some orcs and face up against the Necromancer (or what would be considered just your average weekday in those parts). Early reviews are positive but not overwhelming. The general consensus is the flick improves on the first installment, but isn’t perfect. As the week goes on, I imagine the reviews trending downward. I think there’s an outside chance it even falls under 50%. While this isn’t likely, it isn’t impossible considering the earlier reviewers are often the most positive. Does Peter Jackson care? Probably not as he relaxes and lives out his days in the Shire. The Rotten Watch for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is