This Rotten Week: Predicting I, Frankenstein Reviews
A slow day around the Rotten Offices, with only one absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary movie hitting the screens for what I assume to be a quick yet painful run.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
Bahahahaahaha. Oh man, oh man, hold on, Iím catching my breath here. Baahahahahahaa. Okay, okay, no seriously, I can do this, I can do this. Iím a professional. BahaaÖ. haÖ. ha... Ok, Iím good.
What the hell is this thing? Is this a movie? A video game? Some joke the movie studios are playing on us? A bet someone lost? Because honestly, I couldnít even make it all the way through the trailer. Itís just that horrendous.
Not only did I have absolutely no idea what was going on, but by 1:19 mark (where I called it quits) I couldnít even tell you what this flick was even about except Aaron Eckhart has scars and statues fly. I wouldnít be confident giving any other assessment of the plot. (Update: I did make it all the way through when I showed it to Mrs. Rotten Week and she said it had "Franken-style." This was sarcasm.)
Iím sure someone out there whoís read the graphic novel from which this is adapted will get mad at me for suggesting it looks like a trainwreck. Whatever. Working the "deep" idea of Frankenstein be a "human" fighting against inhuman forces of evil is along the same thought path that ended up with Abraham Lincoln killing vampires. What appears to ensue is a mess of contrived action and canned dialogue with Eckhart doing an action star impression to diminishing returns.
Written and directed by Stuart Beattie who penned such masterpieces as G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (34%), Australia (55%) and 30 Days of Night (51%), I, Frankenstein seeks to undo a hundred years of filmmaking in one fell swoop of a stone gargoyle landing a building in a dystopian future. The Rotten Watch for I, Frankenstein is
Will I, Frankenstein top 26% Fresh this week?
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