White Chicks

For Your Consideration, in the category of Best Picture... White Chicks? OK, so the gender-dividing Wayans Bros. comedy from 2004 didn't make any waves at the Oscars when it came out, but one director believes that it's mainly because the movie took the wrong approach to its subject matter. Instead of digging deep into the social and political motivations of the plot, director Keenan Ivory Wayans went for laughs. (Whether he got any or not is up for debate.) Now, one director wants to remake White Chicks, making a strong left turn into Oscar bait territory. And we fear he might be serious.

Daniel Scheinert is out promoting his latest film, Swiss Army Man, which features a suicidal man (Paul Dano) who encounters a farting corpse (Daniel Radcliffe) on a deserted island. Yes, you read that right. So we almost have to take everything that Scheinert says with a grin of salt, as he might just be going for a surreal chuckle. But he tells The Hollywood Reporter:

One of my dreams is to make White Chicks as a hard-R, Oscar-worthy drama, starring the original cast. It would be about gender and race relations in the 21st century, starring the Wayans Brothers. I don't know if you have seen White Chicks lately, but it has a lot of meat to it and explores everything, like class, gender, race, the handicapped, age.

And that idea is just crazy enough to work. The fact that he'd like to make it with the original cast is exactly the meta twist that we'd need to make this dream a reality. Remaking White Chicks would be a horrible idea. The concept was tone deaf back in 2004. But remaking it as Oscar bait WITH the Wayans Brothers back in the leads? Suddenly, that's genius.

White Chicks cast Shawn and Marlon Wayans as disgraced FBI agents who decide to go deep undercover to protect the lives of hotel heiresses the Wilson Sisters. And by "deep undercover," I mean that the two black men pretend to be white women. You almost have to see the trailer to believe it:

Will this actually happen? No. I mean, even if Swiss Army Man made $1 billion, and Daniel Scheinert was given carte blanch to make whatever movie he wanted to make, would the Wayans Brothers be willing to step back into the characters of Kevin and Marcus Copeland for a hard-hitting, R-rated Oscar vanity project that explored the complications of race relations in our nation? Unlikely. Now, a dramatic retelling of Little Man? Sign me up for that. Swiss Army Man is in theaters as we speak.

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