Watch Jurassic Park: The Lost World Get Torn To Shreds In Brutally Honest Video

With the latest instalment to the Jurassic Park franchise just around the corner, now is the perfect time to sit back and over-analyze the other dino-tastic films that have made up the series. There’s no denying the fact that the original is a seminal slice of blockbuster cinema, while the third has its moments but gravitates towards the mundane. Meanwhile there’s The Lost World, arguably the most disappointing sequel ever created, which means that it’s ripe material for Honest Trailers. They’ve obliged and created a scathing look at the follow-up, which anyone who still feels disgruntled by The Lost World will adore.

That’s pretty much on the money. The 1997 action adventure was, like its predecessor, based on a Michael Crichton novel. It was even directed, once again, by the most beloved mainstream director in cinema history, Steven Spielberg. You’ve probably heard of him. In fact, The Lost World made sure to bring back the most interesting and charismatic character from the original, Jeff Goldblum’s Dr. Ian Malcolm, and made him the lead. Plus, it has the bona fide acting goliath Pete Postlethwaite in it too. What could possibly go wrong?

It turns out pretty much everything. Steven Spielberg fails miserably in his attempt to recreate the wonder, suspense, thrills, and excitement of the original, and instead just packs the movie with ridiculous action set pieces that are poorly put together and frustratingly formulaic. Meanwhile, none of the new characters are given any chance to shine or be relatable as they’re simply thrown into the deep end of the action and spend most of the film running away from the dinosaurs screaming until their throats are hoarse.

It’s not like they didn’t have the acting talent on-board to make The Lost World at least watchable. Julianne Moore, Vince Vaughn, Pistol Pete Postlethwaite, Peter Stormare, and Richard Schiff are all exemplary in their field. But they simply flounder without the material to make use of their acting talents.

Then there’s Jeff Goldlum’s Dr. Ian Malcolm. All of the charm and wit of the character from his turn in Jurassic Park have disappeared, and instead he’s reduced to a neurotic dad who spends the entirety of The Lost World worrying about his daughter, Kelly Malcolm (Vanessa Lee Chester). Unfortunately for Kelly, she’s also responsible for arguably the worst moment of the entire series as the trainee gymnast swings on a beam before kicking a raptor out of a window.

And don't get me started on the elongated ending in San Diego that tries ever so hard to be just like Godzilla. Hopefully Jurassic World will not make these same mistakes, because if it does we will all be severely disappointed.

Gregory Wakeman