Courtney Stodden has never had trouble attracting a crowd. The celebrity shot to fame as a 16-year-old when she married Green Mile star Doug Hutchison, who was 34 years her senior, and in the time since, she's found a way to consistently remain in the headlines thanks to reality shows, sex tapes and even a talk show segment where she proved her boobs were real, at least at the time. Now, she's back with a Christmas song, and it might be the dirtiest holiday jingle ever recorded.

You can check out the music video below. WARNING: It is NSFW, unless you work somewhere really, really tolerant like CinemaBlend:

This is normally the part of the story where I talk about my favorite part of the video, but there's literally not a second of this clip that isn't perfect in its own stupid and filthy way. From her sex noises to the puns that lack any subtlety at all, it's the most aggressively sexual Christmas song ever recorded. The lyrics are all dirty, morally corrupt poetry about nailing Santa, and whoever penned them deserves, in the spirit of this video, to be whipped on the ass by an elf.

The thing I appreciate about Courtney Stodden and by extension, this song, is that there's never any half assing it. She goes all-in. She's never going to have a classic Christmas Song; so, she doesn't try to create one. She knows people expect really forward sexuality with her; so, she gives the people exactly that. If any of us was asked to describe what a Courtney Stodden Christmas music video would look like, I'm pretty sure most of us would have at least guessed this tone. Hell, we probably could have all predicted this red Christmas coat outfit with miles of cleavage too...

Merry Christmas, Courtney. Please never change, but on a serious note, maybe do get that bruise looked at that shows up a couple times during the video. We need you healthy and ready to stick your tongue out and make sex faces for decades to come.

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