I would have given anything to have tickets to the final all-star game at Yankee Stadium. Of course, I didn’t, but my buddy Eric and I fought through all sixteen innings, chain smoking and screaming at the umpires to pass the time in his living room. It got pretty brutal the last few innings as the clock approached two, but we’re baseball fans and it would have been sacrilegious to bail that late in the game. So, naturally, it came as quite a surprise to me when Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez left the dugout after he was removed and didn’t reappear to watch with his teammates. Come to find out, he went home--or at least tried to.

According to The New York Daily News, Alex Rodriguez phoned his chauffeur to pick him up around eleven o’clock (more than three hours before the game actually ended), but the employee was arrested driving the wrong way down a one way. God, Karma is a fat fucking bitch. The driver, Jesus Falu, was hit with a reckless driving summons and is due back in court later this year. He told the officers he was just trying to position the black Chevrolet Suburban in the proper spot to pick A-Rod up.

I’ve always been an A-Rod supporter, but if he can’t spend three hours watching an all-star game in his home city with his teammates, well, fuck him. Derek Jeter would never pull this crap. In fact, he didn’t, as I watched him excitedly stand through the last few innings with fellow Yankee Mariano Rivera. That’s probably why the two of them have eight rings between ’em, and A-Rod has a grand total of zero.