Worried about what to get your ten year old niece for Christmas? If I were you, I’d consider razor blades, a book on vomiting to lose weight, and a four liter jug of vodka before Mattel’s newest doll. The geniuses behind Barbie are now offering up a twelve inch Lindsay Lohan doll complete with faux-fur and an elevated actor’s chair all for the low-low price of four dollars and ninety-nine cents. That’s right. Apparently, the figurines have been selling so poorly that Mattel has decided to cut the price from twenty-five to five dollars. I blame all the coke and the whoring around and the setting a horrid example for America’s youth or maybe The Parent Trap. Nah. Probably not that.

According to Gossip Gangster Perez Hilton, sales have been so bad the company is reportedly offering free shipping too. Could they actually be losing money on this transaction? Maybe a few cents in the red is a better alternative than burning the unwanted playthings.

To paraphrase an old Norm MacDonald Saturday Night Live joke, at least they’re selling better than Tickle-Me-Frank-Stallones.