After he was unceremoniously dumped by the last of his goddesses, I wondered what it would take to keep the Sheen boat floating. The answer? Steroids. Charlie Sheen has admitted that the fast-baller Rick Vaughn was a user; but hey, it was the 90s, everyone was doing it. The Major League star reportedly used steroids for six to eight weeks to put a little extra juice on his fastball -- why is beyond me.

TMZ broke the news with Sheen himself saying “You can print this, I don't give a fuck. My fastball went from 79 [mph] to like 85." I’m pretty sure Tim Wakefield can throw harder than that; hell, I went to high school with guys that could throw harder than that without using juice. Either he wasn’t getting the same stuff that McGuire was getting, or he really spent zero time at the gym. Regardless, it’s a movie; why in the world does it matter how hard you actually throw? They’re going to make it look faster with special effects anyway, unless you’re actually hitting over 90 miles an hour consistently.

The real question here for me is if, not why. Charlie Sheen seems like the kind of person who would have no problem lying about steroid use just to hit the headlines again. Looking at his current story arc, being a chronic liar does seem to fit right into the mold that he has set for himself. Whether it’s fact or fiction we’ll never know; but perhaps his shrunken package has something to do with the departure of his latest goddess? Okay, probably not; it’s probably because he’s bat-shit-crazy.

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