Affable former teacher turned American Idol turned eccentric Broadway performer Clay Aiken is now a proud father. The singer artificially inseminated baby mama/ best friend forever record producer Jaymes Foster. She’s fifty; he’s twenty-nine. The two live together when both staying in Los Angeles.

According to TMZ, the little rabble-rouser is named Parker Foster Aiken, which is a first, middle, and last name, not a duel monstrosity the poor kid would be annoyed signing the rest of his life. In all honesty, I never thought I’d see the day when Clay Aiken’s sperm brought forth a child, but he seems like the type of guy who would be a great father. So, congratulations to Jaymes, Clay, and Parker. I bet that kid will have a hell of a voice.

Here's Clay's original American Idol audition...