DMX Finally Apprehended

By Mack Rawden 7 years ago
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For those of you high schoolers mulling a career in the lucrative field of C- thug impersonation, read this story closely. Former platinum rapper DMX has been captured by police at the home of failing record producer Scott Storch. Yes, that would be the same Phoenix-area house currently under foreclosure. What a fitting end for briefly-famous emcee who prided himself on wildly irresponsible behavior.

According to TMZ, the tip was made by a woman in Georgia after she heard a five thousand dollar reward for information leading to DMXís capture was being offered. Fuck being a good Samaritan. Itís all about the moolah.

Listen: DMX sucks. He wrote one, arguably two good songs like eight years ago. At least heís back to his roots: acting like a common thug and taking refuge with douche bags who donít bother paying their bills.
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