Holy Bronx Bomber, Batman, I did not see this surreptitious tomfoolery coming. Yankee third baseman and stripper enthusiast Alex Rodriguez has been accused by his soon-to-be ex-wife of having her followed, as well as possibly having her private phone wiretapped. I’m all for keeping my lady in line, but I normally stop at “what are you doing tonight?”

According to The New York Post, all of this came out in court late last week when her lawyers requested A-Rod’s lawyers hand over "any reports (they) have received from a detective, investigator or any other person based upon surveillance of (the) spouse." I guess I know what R.B.I. stands for now: Rodriguez Behaving Idiotically. Ba-Bam-Bam-Chiii! I’ll be here all week.

No word yet on how the custody of the children will play out in court, but I’m guessing the judge’s decision will involve A-Rod writing a sizeable check of eight figures. Good thing he can afford it on his twenty seven million dollar a year salary.

Click over to TMZ to check out all the court documents.