Remember earlier today when I told you Zooey Deschanel said yes to the bassist from AFI; well, In Touch Weekly is full of shit. The star of Winter Passing is getting married, just not to Hunter Burgan. The actress is actually wedding Ben Gibbard, that mopey-looking bastard from Death Cab For Cutie who vaguely resembles a sad, uncool Chuck Klosterman.

According to US Magazine, a source close to the pair said they were “thrilled”, and she was “swept off her feet.” How cute. Stay tuned for the next week as we post retractions every few hours and Deschanel ends up marrying openly gay Congressman Barney Frank.

Editor’s Note: Cinema Blend would like to apologize to Hunter Burgan’s friends who probably briefly thought he was a badass.