Gwyneth Paltrow's Kids Sell Lemonade To Help Animals

By Jacob Sundstrom 5 years ago
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Gwyneth Paltrow has yet another post-it to hang on her moral superiority bulletin board. This past weekend her and her unfortunately named daughter and son (Apple & Moses, respectively) sold lemonade and what may be cookies at a pound apiece (good God, better be great lemonade) to benefit RSPCA, the U.K.ís largest animal welfare organization. The setup was purposefully modest, with misspelled, hand-written signs on top of cardboard boxes.

People broke the story, and included a photo of the Ďstandí, which looks like those soap-box derby cars that were created by parents, but made to look like it was built by the kid. You know what Iím talking about. Apparently Apple is a vegetarian, and like all seven year old girls an avid-animal lover. Clearly she has no problem eating her namesake. No word on if Moses has sworn off snakes and walking-sticks for life.

Add this story to the ďGwyneth Paltrow Is Just Like Us But Not ReallyĒ file; obviously thereís nothing wrong with her raising money for whatever charity she wants, but canít she just pose naked for PETA like Olivia Wilde? Címon. Okay, okay, thatís the chauvinist in me speaking, but I certainly wouldnít complain. My only question is how did anyone figure out who she was? The People article says nothing about a tip-off, which makes me think that Paltrow may have contacted People to take some pictures to promote this charity. Itís all very weird, but Paltrow is a weird celebrity. On the bright side, sheís not eating up tax-payer money in prison like Lindsay Lohan or spewing out reality television bullshit like Paris Hilton, right?
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