The unfortunate soap opera that is Nick Hogan’s life continues to grow more tragic by the day. The seventeen year old has been sentenced to among other things eight months in jail, five years probation, and five years without hitting the booze.

Things have really been spiraling downhill for the Hogan family in the last year. The first season of their reality show was about wearing fanny packs and working out more. Now, their life is straight out of a Lemony Snicket novel; though, when describing the Hogan children, I’d replace “clever” and “street-smart” with “reckless behind the wheel” and “kinda looks like a man.”

According to Perez, Nick was reportedly pleased with the outcome, issuing a statement through his lawyer claiming he was “happy”. I’ll stop short of calling eight months in jail a joyous victory, but I’m sure it’s reassuring for the teenager to know he’ll be getting out long before this woman.