As a citizen of the United States, I can proudly say this country was built atop three alliterative ideals: life, liberty, and lusting after young girls. This all sounds well and good, but unfortunately, all three of these ideals are vague, especially the last one. How young is too young? The law in most states specifies eighteen, but the majority of America seems to take a slap-on-the-wrist approach to seventeen year olds and to a lesser extent sweet sixteens. Fifteen, though, that’s one year older than fourteen and dangerously icky to almost everyone not named Humbert Humbert.

Thankfully, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is here to clean up the confusion. According to The New York Daily News, the eighty-two year old has made a preemptive offer to Miley Cyrus, asking her to pose nude for the magazine in three years. I wonder how Disney feels about this overture. No stranger to controversy, Hefner made a similar plea to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen before they turned eighteen, but the twins took a pass. I assume Miley Cyrus will do the same.

This is the part of the story where you’d probably expect me to chastise Hef, maybe even rant about his lack of a moral compass, but in all honesty, I really don’t see what the big deal is. Miley Cyrus is fucking hot, and more importantly, she knows she’s fucking hot. She dolls herself up like a twenty-two year old sorority girl, and most men over the age of fifteen like what they see. They’re just not as readily willing to admit it as Hef.