For the last four years, I’ve been telling anyone who’d bother listening that there was just something about John Edwards I didn’t trust. He has this swagger about him, which just screams overly nice imposter on the outside, complete scumbag on the inside. Turns out I was pretty much spot-on with my assessment.

According to ABC News, former Presidential Candidate John Edwards will admit to the extra-marital affair he’s vehemently denied, which was first reported by the National Enquirer, on Nightline this evening. The mistress, a forty-four year old inexperienced propaganda filmmaker hired by the Edwards campaign, has since become pregnant, though, humorously, another Edwards’ employee, Andrew Young, has claimed to be the father.

So, just to make sure we’re on the same page here: I’m going to outline exactly what’s happened. An aide for John Edwards convinced the Senator to hire a woman with little experience and pay her one hundred and fourteen thousand dollars to produce campaign films. The aide and Edwards, whose wife was diagnosed with cancer during this period, both fornicated with the woman on numerous occasions. Then everyone lied. Scumbags, the whole lot of ‘em.

Look: I’m not insinuating everyone who has ever cheated on their significant other is a complete scumbag and incapable of being forgiven, but the mitigating circumstances surrounding this case are beyond skuzzy.