Addressing the worst kept celebrity secret since Rock Hudson’s sexuality, Angelina Jolie spoke with Access Hollywood earlier today and confirmed she and husband Brad Pitt are expecting twins. Shocking. With that juicy piece of recycled gossip out of the way, I’m now free to reveal some more new Earth-shattering developments: the Japanese have bombed Pearl Harbor, the Lindbergh baby was kidnapped, and the Easter Bunny isn’t real. Horrifying, I know.

A due date has yet to be announced, but the duo of bouncing babies will be the fifth and sixth members of the Pitt family, whenever they arrive, joining Zahara, Maddox, Pax, and Shiloh. Most people think growing up with two celebrity parents is a cake walk, but knowing Angelina Jolie, the two fetuses will be visiting third world countries and doing charity work before they can walk.