Henry VIII–I mean Larry King–is reeling after news his current wife, Shawn Southwick King, is heading to rehab for a painkiller addiction leaked out. In a related story, I’m also reeling after reading this headline on Page Six and falsely assuming it was real news. Painkillers? Come’on. Half the citizens of Hollywood need a pharmacy of pills to get out of bed in the morning. Get a real addiction, Shawn. I’d recommend Meth, gambling, or lesbian sex. Those three still wield a little shock value.

CNN declined comment, but a source close to the couple confirmed she is, in fact, seeking help. We here at Cinema Blend, while underwhelmed by the announcement, wish Shawn a speedy recovery and sincerely hope her two young children aren’t too traumatized by the whole ordeal.