I cannot verify anything in this next story. The source isn’t exactly Time, and I’m skeptical to say the least. But--in the interest of puzzling what ifs, I bring you this next little tidbit.

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan is toying with the idea of babies. No, not adopted African babies. Little Lohans. The Mean Girls star is reportedly considering asking one of her ex-boyfriends for some help in the sperm department, though it’s unclear whether the child would be conceived naturally or via artificial insemination.

According to News Of The World, a source close to the situation said, “Lindsay is in a very happy place at the moment. She’s been having deep discussions about a baby. She wants a natural birth and has spoken to Sam about getting one of her ex-boyfriends to help out. They don’t want to adopt.”

As long as there have been humans, a certain percentage of young women have assumed a baby will solve all of their problems. It won’t. It will exponentially increase them. Don’t have children, Lindsay. Wait at least a few more years.