The following story is more complicated than a Rubik’s Cube. It contains numerous ins and outs, ups and downs, and sloppy, sloppy seconds. Please read with extreme caution in order to gain maximum shock and gossipy surprise.

According to The L.A. Times, Madonna, currently on the outs with long-time husband Guy Richie, has been spending a great deal of time with Yankees shortstop and noted playoff choker Alex Rodriguez. Meanwhile, A-Rod’s wife has been spotted canoodling with “American Woman” cover singer Lenny Kravitz, a former Madonna boyfriend. Supposedly, the two are currently spending a romantic Fourth of July in Paris. How upper-class, yet Jerry Springer-esque.

Normally, I’m all about the wife swapping and amoral behavior, but I kind of feel bad for Guy Richie. Where’s his ego-boosting public tryst? I can’t imagine any of this tomfoolery will work out in the long run, but it sure is fun reporting in the mean time.