Sick of only being the most famous female singer in the world, Madonna decided to play Jesus and Miss Cleo this week, claiming the little boy she crept off with from Africa would have died without her help. Conversing with a reporter from Interview Magazine, Midge told the publication, "I promise you, he wouldn't have lived if I hadn't taken him. It's not even a possibility. Visiting Africa made me see how tough and resilient kids are and how little credit we give them for that." Too bad she wasn’t alive in ‘32. Maybe she could have saved Charles Augustus Lindbergh too.

According to NME, Madonna and her husband Guy Richie still have a few court dates left before legally laying claim to the miracle baby she saved, but it’s unlikely any judge would dare rule against the Material Girl. I certainly wouldn’t. No offense to the child’s real parents, but I’d rather see a toddler live in opulence than in some African shack. That’s just me, though.