Did you hear about the dude from Blue Man Group who got arrested for being serviced in a public park? Well, it turns out Darren Stephens is not currently and has never been a part of the performance group. He does, however, have a wicked sense of humor. The police department reportedly released a statement saying “people lie on arrest reports all the time.”

According to TMZ, the arrest took place in Chicago, Illinois, but it’s unclear which park was riddled with this man’s seed. I hope the BJ didn’t happen anywhere near the Grant Park Media Tent because last year I had a few Soco Margaritas and laid on the ground for like an hour listening to Radiohead under whelm the crowd. I plan on doing the same this summer.

And no. The arrested man is not him. Or him.