Country star Mindy McCready, the now thirty-two year old woman who Roger Clemens was accused of sleeping with when she was just fifteen, tried to off herself Heath Ledger style (with Ambien), but naturally, she failed and is now off to rehab. The amount of negligent abuse the body can taken without keeling over is pretty underrated.

According to TMZ, former Oprah favorite Dr. Phil has taken an active interest in the Southern train wreck, offering his services for free. Reportedly, the troubled singer was doing better until he boyfriend dumper her, prompting her to plow through an entire bottle of vodka and an untold amount of pills. Whatever happened to crying for a few days and then drunkenly telling your buddies how over it you are?

McCready is currently at an unnamed treatment facility in Arizona, where, if anyone has any sense, she will stay for the next few months.