To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong. -Hulk Hogan

The long, arduous, and sometimes unintentionally hilarious saga of Nick Hogan continues to drag race on. In case you’ve been sleeping on the street for the last few months, I’ll catch you up as quickly as possible on this whole ordeal.

1): Nick had a few beers with a friend.
2): The Hulkster’s son and said friend raced their luxury car.
3): The car crashed.
4): Friend is left with permanent brain damage.
5): Nick is jailed.
6): The seventeen year old makes several phone calls to family members pleading with them to get him out and setting up a reality television deal.
7): The prison releases tapes of the aforementioned calls to the media.

Honestly, I’m really torn here. As a celebrity gossip editor and unabashed fan of all things catty, I’m pretty happy I got a crack at those hilarious communications. But, as an equally big fan of our government keeping its damn nose out of its citizens business, I’m outraged at this gross violation of personal freedom. So is Nick.

According to People Magazine, the Hulkster’s son is suing the Florida Sheriff’s department for the above transgressions. And why shouldn’t he? I’m incredibly opposed to the current lawsuit culture we live in, but selling tapes of an inmate is gross negligence. I haven’t passed the Bar Exam yet, but if that’s not illegal, something is seriously fucked with our judicial system.

Here’s to hoping Nick wins this lawsuit, and all guilty parties are heaved out the Department of Corrections door.