Notice how in the title of this article I had to insert the word patriarch? That’s because at least three members of the O’Neal family have drug problems. Three drug addicts in the same nuclear crew. They’re like the Jonas Brothers--you know, except instead of musical ability and boyish charm they have plenty of meth and crack smoke ring talent. Sweet.

According to People, Ryan O’Neal pleaded guilty today to the drug charges pending against him. His lawyer released a statement saying, “Ryan was anxious to move on with his life with privacy and dignity.” Thank God for that. Pending his completion of an eighteen month drug deferment program, the charges will be dropped as a condition of his pleading guilty.

Here’s to hoping next year the actor comes in a little lower than seventy-five on Cinema Blend’s most likely to die list.