Oh how quickly we forget. On August 9th, 1974, Richard Milhous Nixon resigned the Presidency Of The United States, ending arguably the shadiest tenure since Warren G. Harding’s Teapot Dome shenanigans and the most diplomatically progressive administration since Jefferson worked with France to buy roughly one-third of our country. Upon leaving office, Richard Nixon was almost universally vilified. The populous wanted justice, wanted payback for what they perceived as gross incompetence and irresponsibility at the top. Some circles would have gladly drawn and quartered him outside the White House. Only Gerald Ford realized we needed to move on; only he realized taking Nixon to court would have done little more than strung along the whole sordid affair, denying Uncle Sam an opportunity to move on and deal with the real issues facing the country. Ford’s popularity never recovered, and he was defeated by Jimmy Carter. Now thirty years later, word on the street is many high-profile Democrats want the Bush Administration investigated for its failures and shortcomings. President Obama is reportedly not opposed. Oh how quickly we forget.

The Economy is fucked. The stimulus plan is a shot in the dark at best which will move this great nation further toward Socialism and likely won’t net any tangible rewards for at least a year. We honestly could face a Lost Decade like Japan. The general public will blame someone. We’ll do it because we’re foolish, bloodthirsty, and because, by God, we just can‘t help ourselves. In fact, regardless of what Forty-Four does, we’ll dump all our frustrations (health care, AIDS, Iraq, the inevitable Snuggle Blanket backlash) on George Bush until at least Halloween. That leaves Barack Obama with roughly eight months to enact his policies without constant nagging and Monday quarterbacking. Spoiler alert: nothing will be fixed by the time your fat uncle and his Type Two Diabetes overdose on Fun Size Snicker’s Bars. More than likely, things will be worse--worse than this IRA-sucking economy stinking up the stock market right now. So, it’ll come to pass that roughly around October 31st, Barack Obama will be forced to choose, choose between himself and the country he loves so much. He can either join us in heaving more feathers at the tarred George Bush or he can reshift the public’s focus onto actually getting shit done. Parts of the Stimulus Plan will work and other portions will fail miserably. Owning up to and changing his own course of action will let W. off the hook. Giving speeches about Bush’s unconstitutional wars and evangelical leanings will extend the gravy train for at least six more months.

I guess we’ll see if Barack Obama really is an idealist.

There’s a great scene in Gladiator where Joaquin Phoenix describes gladiatorial combat as the best way to distract the masses. Unfortunately, it couldn’t keep the Barbarians from looting the greatest city on Earth (at least at the time). Immobilizing the people and many of our best lawyers, journalists and free thinkers by diverting their eyes away from the economy and toward George Bush and San Quentin would be one of the most egregious disservices to the public interest since Benedict Arnold Benedict Arnoled.

Hope for change. That’s what Barack Obama campaigned on. He was, after all, the idealist to John McCain’s status quo. Not pardoning George Bush would be an affront to every single one of those snuggly virtues he benefited so closely from aligning himself with. There’s nothing heroic about shoving the knife in further. George Bush fucked up. He was a below-average president who I never voted for. He was incompetent, sluggish and ineffective. There are a lot men who I’d choose before W. if given the chance, but that doesn’t mean he should be slowly covered in stones until he confesses. We put people in jail in this country for two reasons: a) because they’re a danger to society and b) because we want vengeance. Anyone who says George Bush is a danger to society at this moment is either a Democratic strategist or obtusely incompetent. George Bush will go home to Texas, give a few speeches here and there, raise some money and sigh over mistakes his daughters make until his savior calls him home. So, the question is whether we’ll get vengeance.

There’s no virtue in the vengeance; there’s no heart in the retaliation. Sure, it would feel pretty damn good to string up George W and burn him in effigy for the next year, but like Richard Nixon before him, Bush needs to be pardoned, not only for the country to heal but for Barack Obama to prove he really isn’t a politician. A politician would saddle up George Bush’s ass and ride him around like a donkey until the economic solutions were found. Only the idealist, in his infinite wisdom for taking our best interests to heart and his infinite foolishness for taking our best interests to heart, would take a cab.

Your taxi is waiting, Mr. President.